avi sato . be thought . live dreams

i

If you

To you who once stood at my side I can do nothing but remember you in your absence as you who touched the depths of my soul with unending fires of provocation to shift myself into a light that once I thought would blind me but standing protected by you I face it as one built to stand atop ships’ masts not within their bowels sheltered from storms

A vision of you haunts not my dreams but my waking moments between rest with the touch of effortless history dragged into the present by the motion that simply cannot end and a being that echoes beside my being that is not simply within me but within all I see and each leaf I taste in its visual aura

Within your spirit conducted into being by a limitless presence you drive me to be a different self than I would without you embody and toward futures unthinkable in my passionate loneliness and cultivated segregation yet I am more myself in you than I could ever have been alone and less a part of normalcy than I once thought I would have to be to survive

You are not the hat floating on the winds but those wind spirits themselves that raise up the ideas that inhabit the space behind my eyes and speak through my lips with a vision that you embodied not as yourself but as me within your heart while you spoke to me through your own tongue’s whispered cadence directly toward words landing on my skin with a breath I may never forgive myself for having lost yet savor in its remaining beauty

(Avi Sato, 2019)